Can we escape our solitude and isolation?
a quick two-minute read
Last Christmas, I ended up spending a day in the emergency room. I was in agony. My family and friends were all there for me in the waiting room, but I still felt alone and with my pain. Though I’m reluctant to label it loneliness, the feeling was thought-provoking and worth examining.
Even when I know that, a large body of research shows the positive effects of social support on both physical and mental well-being, even extending to increased longevity. In certain cases, the mere presence of a pet, such as a cat or dog, has demonstrably positive effects on mental health. The intensity of my pain blocked out my awareness of everyone’s efforts and their Christmas plans put aside for me. It’s not the actual social support received that matters most, but rather the individual’s perception of that support. I have to admit that their presence was reassuring, but how can we better recognize and appreciate the social support we receive? Though we share this life, the realities of birth, sickness, aging, and death are intensely personal journeys we each traverse alone.
Is it possible to change solitude from feeling lonely to be peacefully introspective?
Briefly, the answer is yes. But in what manner? My PhD focused on emotional self-regulation strategies; I wondered if these could alleviate loneliness. Actually, a 2024 paper by Patrichi et al., reviewing 4,454 articles, proved this. Their research yielded three key findings applicable to daily life, namely:
We can achieve peaceful solitude by reinterpreting our experience of being alone. Thinking like: I know that someone cares about me, even when they’re not around. Alone time helps me connect with my thoughts and needs, listen to my intuition, and spark creativity—something difficult when constantly bombarded with outside input.
Choosing our social circles can foster openness, connection, and safety. This way, it eliminates the need for masks or suppressing of our emotions, which can negatively affect mental health and cause isolation.
By training our curiosity and engaging in stimulating activities, we can maintain a balanced level of distraction and be fully engaged in our interests.
To summarize, emotional self-regulation training can help combat loneliness and isolation, even during periods of physical solitude. I hope you enjoy some peaceful alone time and make lots of social connections.
References:
Patrichi, A., Rîmbu, R., Miu, A. C., & Szentágotai-Tătar, A. (2024). Loneliness and emotion regulation: A meta-analytic review. Emotion. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0001438
Uchino, B. N. (2009). Understanding the Links Between Social Support and Physical Health: A Life-Span Perspective With Emphasis on the Separability of Perceived and Received Support. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 4(3), 236-255. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2009.01122.x
